Crying is the number one reason why we get terrified when we create a routine about sleep, feeding or our baby!
Let’s get into the details of crying.
Does crying hurt babies?
Although there are different thoughts on this subject, roughly speaking, crying helplessly can hurt your baby, while crying when you support her calms your baby. She can even get her to talk to you. Maybe I read it wrong! How so! I can hear you say.
You heard right, let your baby cry too. When your baby cries, your natural inclination may be to save her. You may believe that your baby is in distress, in pain, or even think that crying is bad.
“Crying” is your baby’s way of communicating
Crying is your baby’s way of communicating with you. As parents, we want our children to express themselves, don’t we? We should not wait for your child’s language development to begin.
Even though she can’t speak yet, she’s trying to tell you her troubles. First, calm yourself down by taking three deep breaths and try to bend over and look at the world from her tiny point of view. What does she see now? What could be bothering her? Of course, support your baby, but as Tracy Hogg said; When your partner says “I’m tired” or “Can you give me water”, do you stuff socks in his mouth? Of course not. So why are you doing this to your baby? You’re just teaching your baby not to have a say.
Not a lot. Just for a few seconds, stop and listen to your baby and review the list of what could happen, then step in. When parents don’t really stop to listen and distinguish between different cries, babies’ cries become monotonous and become just ‘Hey! I’m telling you, pay attention to me!’
If my baby cries, will our secure bond be broken?
What type of crying are you talking about? Crying when you leave your baby alone or just look at her from away and wait for her to stop without meeting her needs? Or is it the situation when your baby is crying, you hug or try to understand, even if you can’t find a reason, you support her by loving and pating?
Of course, the first case undermines a secure bond. But in the second case, you are with your baby, you have met her needs, her mother is next to her and hugs her even though she continues to cry.
Let me give you an example:
You have a request or a stressful situation, you are trying to explain the situation to someone who is with you. In the first case, the person who does not listen to you and expects you to be silent.
In the second case; A role model is someone who listens to you and tries to do her best. Even if she fails in this case! She tried to understand you. Would there be insecurity for the person in the second situation? So what I’m trying to explain is that you need to adopt a second role model.
- You’re not doing your baby any favours by silencing her crying.
- What I want to tell you is never leave your babies crying for sleep.
- Don’t worry about your baby’s individuality!
- Stop! Listen to her problem! Focus on what she wants. Help with the situation.
- Give her the opportunity to calm herself down.